5. SET A GOOD EXAMPLE:
Children often watch their parents as examples in how they deal with scenarios where they may feel afraid, or sick, or when they experience great loss. They should be hearing you supplicate to your Creator in times of need. Complaining or saying “if only I had done this (or that) this wouldn’t have happened” would be considered to be blameworthy. Rather accept the decree of Allah Most High, and exemplify patience and courage when you are forced to deal with misfortune. May Allah Most High protect us all from this.
Abu Hurayra (RadiyAllahu Anhu) said that the Messenger of Allah, SallAllahu Alaihi Wa Sallam, said:
“The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer although there is good in each. Desire that which will bring you benefit, and seek help from Allah and do not give way to incapacity. If something happens to you, do not say, ‘If only I had done such-and-such.’ Rather say, ‘The decree of Allah. He does what He will.’ Otherwise you will open yourself up to the action of Shaytan.”
Anas (RadiyAllahu Anhu) said, ‘The Prophet, SallAllahu Alaihi Wa Sallam, passed by a woman who was weeping at a grave and said,
“Fear Allah and show fortitude.”
She said, not recognizing him,
‘Leave me alone. You have not been struck by such an affliction as mine!’
She was told,
‘It is the Prophet, SallAllahu Alaihi Wa Sallam.’
She went to the door of the Prophet, SallAllahu Alaihi Wa Sallam, and finding no one guarding the door, she said,
‘I did not recognize you.’
“The time for fortitude is at the first shock.”’
Other good examples we can set before our children are examples from the Seerah. Our Prophet (صلي الله عليه و سلم ) demonstrated the attribute of bravery many times, and he is our ultimate role model.
Anas ibn Malik (رضي الله عنهم ) said: ‘The Messenger of Allah (صلي الله عليه و سلم ) was the best of the people, and he was the most generous of the people, and the bravest of the people. One night the people of Medinah heard a loud noise and they became overwhelmed with fear. The men went out to see what the noise was, only to find the Prophet (صلي الله عليه و سلم ) riding his unsaddled horse, and coming from the direction of the noise with his sword wrapped around his neck. He said to them, “Don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid. I found (my horse) very swift”.
The companions also often exemplified courage, and this can be see especially in the examples of Abu Bakr as-Siddiq or Sayyidna Ali (رضي الله عنهم ).
Other beneficial examples we can set before our children is that of our parents or other older relatives who have stories of how they overcame adversity, such as moving to a new country or faced danger, yet succeeded. This in turn helps the children to have greater respect for their elders, and helps them to have more admiration for them.
6. AVOID FOOLISH BRAVADO:
Being brave does not mean we should encourage our children towards risky activities or stunts to prove courageousness. One should not take unnecessary chances or neglect safety in a futile attempt to prove bravery to others. Rather, one needs to balance physical courage with common sense.
Abu Hurayra (RadiyAllahu Anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah, SallAllahu Alaihi Wa Sallam, said:
“The strong man is not the one who throws people in wrestling. The strong man is the one who has control of himself when he is angry.”
May Allah Most High give us success in raising our children in the best way, and may we instill good character in their hearts, Ameen!!!