Giving in psychology:
One of the concepts of psychological health is the person’s ability to work for himself and for others. One of the qualities of a healthy personality is the ability to bear responsibility. The person who bears responsibility enjoys optimal psychological health. The one who evades responsibility is abnormal. Evading responsibility is evidence of immature emotions and that the person does not enjoy sound psychological health.
Different kinds of giving:
‘Abdullah ibn Az-Zubayr may Allah be pleased with him the son of Asmaa’ bint Abu Bakr and nephew of ‘Aa’ishah may Allah be pleased with them said about both women, “I have never seen women more generous than my aunt ‘Aa’ishah and my mother Asmaa’. However, they were different in their generosity. My aunt used to accumulate one thing after another until she would gather what she felt was sufficient and then she would distribute it in its proper channels. My mother, on the other hand, would not keep anything even for the next day.” Asmaa’ may Allah be pleased with her was very generous and a giving woman.
Which way do you choose?:
Dear Muslim sister, there are many ways of giving and goodness so do not miss out on them. Do not belittle any good deed as the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ) said: “Do not belittle any good deed, even if it is meeting your [Muslim] brother with a cheerful face.” [Muslim]
One of the ways of giving and goodness is mentioned in the Hadeeth (narration) by Abu Hurayrah may Allah be pleased with him that the Messenger of Allah sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ) said: “Every day the sun rises, charity is due on every joint of a person: when you judge fairly between two men, this is charity; when you assist a man to mount his riding animal or help him load his luggage onto it, this is charity; and a good word is charity; and every step that you take (towards the mosque) for prayer is charity and removing harmful things from the way is charity.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
It is well-known that the nature of woman to give and this is the nature that Allah The Almighty created her with. We find this spontaneous quality of giving when she spends the night awake beside her sick child, bears the hardships of life with her husband and bears the hardship of upbringing and its difficulties.
Helpful prescription for giving:
When Fatimah may Allah be pleased with her asked the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ) to bring her a servant because her hands had become rough due to kneading dough, he told her and her husband:
“‘Remain in your place. Should I tell you something better than what you asked for?’ They said, ‘Yes.’ He said: ‘Jibreel (Gabriel) taught me some words: to say Subhan Allah (Exalted is Allah) ten times after each prayer, Al-Hamdullilah (praise be to Allah) ten times, and Allahu Akbar (Allah is The Greatest) ten times. When you go into your bed say: Subhan Allah (Exalted is Allah) thirty-three times, Al-Hamdullilah (praise be to Allah) thirty-three times and Allahu Akbar (Allah is The Greatest) thirty-four times.’”
‘Ali may Allah be pleased with him said, “By Allah, I did not leave them since he taught me those words. Ibn Al-Kawwaa’ said to him, “Even on the night of Siffeen?” ‘Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, replied, “May Allah kill the people who fight at night! I did not forget them even on the night of Siffeen!” [Al-Bukhari]
This is the prescription of ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib may Allah be pleased with him to face the burdens of home for every man and woman. You can try this prescription and see the result for yourself.