New Delhi [India]: In the day and age of months, sometimes years being spent planning the perfect wedding, reality is often a rude shock when the wedding is over and the marriage begins! This is because no one thinks of asking the questions that really matter!
Varsha Agnihotri, the co-founder, Footloosenomore.com shares the real questions need to be asked before tying the knot.
If you opt for an arranged marriage, your parents will ask a lot of questions, but often, they will not be the ones you want to ask. This is simply because they are looking for a son/ daughter-in-law who fit in with the family, while you look for a true partner and a friend.
Where the family says “groom wanted,” the bride actually says, “fellow traveler on the journey of life wanted!”
So here’s a list that should be on every bride/groom’s list of “to be discussed” and marked in red!
“Do you really want to get married?” Do ensure that the person is not going through this due to family pressure because you don’t want a partner who resents you because you came into their life before they were ready.
Enough marriages have broken up over money issues. So do find out “whose money is it? Yours and mine or ours?” Follow this up with “how do we handle finances? Does one person take care of everything and the other’s income is savings or do you share things equally? Also, what are the other person’s financial obligations towards the family? This could dictate the amount of money spent on the fancy holidays and weekends spent eating out and socializing.
Where would you live? Would it be a joint family or do you get a place of your own.
How soon do you want kids? One of you may want those tots right away, while the other may want to be a “couple” before you become “parents!”
What about ambition? Are both of you on the same page or is one of you going to be leaving the other behind in the corporate race?
If you marry someone from a different faith, the subject comes up automatically. But if you marry within your faith, do discuss religion. Will I be expected to sit through “pujas? I know a couple who went through a rough patch because the wife wanted to party late into the night (because that’s what weekends are for), while the husband liked to be up early on Sunday morning for “darshan and keertan” at the temple (because to some of us, that is what weekends are for). There’s nothing wrong with either, but it’s too much of a compromise for either party.
Do bring up the non negotiable like smoking, drinking, food habits etc. And remember the most important one, “I will not change miraculously once we are married. Are you OK with that?”
Go ahead and ask all of this, and add a few of your own, but make way for a little leap of faith and some magic, because that is what relationships are made of. And sometimes, a little imperfection may lead to the most perfect romance. Enjoy it! (ANI)