Sex Life: Queries and Answers with Rainbow Man

Sex Life: Queries and Answers with Rainbow Man

A Man asking for Medicine to decrease his Libido( Sexual desire)

Question: Dear Rainbow Man, I was married 10 years back and I usually participate in sex twice a day. Even now, my sexual desires are not cooled down and my wife gets frustrated if asked for sex. I am not able to concentrate on work as 85% of my time goes in visualizations of sex and other intimate thoughts. I think nobody has asked for this till now, but I need a medicine to decrease my libido i.e. sexual drive. Please suggest a medicine.

Rainbow Man Answer: Dear Sexoman, it is good that you recognised your libido strength but I am not a sexologist to suggest you any medicine. I can suggest you to divert your attention towards other healthy habits like hitting the gym or running could help. Whereas for some, writing a poem or experimenting with paints or learning to play a musical instrument could be helpful. Give yourself the scope beyond work and pleasure – a healthy diversion. You will do well.

When one has hormones jumping in their body, one could expend the energy in something creative or something that is exhausting.

A sad wife of a Husband who doesn’t initiate sex

Question: Dear Rainbow Man, I have been married for three years now. Ours is an arranged marriage but we use to go on date before being married. While on dating, my husband used to initiate sex talks which I felt weird initially but later on I got used to it by thinking that this is the way to proceed. After marriage and honeymoon was over, there is a drastic change in my husband. Now that he never initiate sex. Even if I proceed, he moves away postponing it later by saying that ‘some other day.’ But that some other day never comes. I can’t even discuss this problem with anybody. I asked him to consult doctor, but he replies that he is completely alright. I sometimes breakdown into tears. He didn’t even touch me intimately after honeymoon.

Rainbow Man Answer: Making love is always passionate in the beginning and it takes very little effort. There is a need to keep inventing newer ways to keeping the flame alive so that marital life goes on smoothly. Your case is not the only one. Most couples today face this issue and sometimes they break their relations without proper counselling. In your case you have done everything– tried initiating, consulting a sexologist.

The problem is that sometimes the issue may not be with sex or bodily pleasures. Try to see that whether he had some pressure at work that is making him feel stressed?

Find out if you can help in anyway by helping him by becoming the perfect friend who listens to his challenges at work and in his life beyond you.

By doing like this, it can ease out a little and maybe that would lead to more frequent love making. Don’t blame yourselves for the less frequent interest of your partner. Rather work on understanding and excavating the lost charm in your life.

‘I want that girl desperately in my life. I cannot forget her’

Question: Dear Rainbow Man, I am 30 years old and I deeply love a girl. She is now married and has a 4-month-old baby. She is not interested in me now but I want her desperately. My thoughts revolve around her. I am helpless. Please suggest me.

Rainbow Man Answer: I understand where you are coming from. The pain of broken love cannot be expressed and it is difficult to recover from it. But we need to come out of that situation.

If you try to forget her, the more you are actually reminding of her. I suggest you to divert yourself to things you always wanted to do but never tried it. It could be a vacation you wanted to take to a faraway island, or an exotic dance form you wanted to master, or it could also be taking up cooking classes, or even make yourself engrossed in spiritual life.

Do whatever you love. At the same time, you won’t be able to forget her completely but let her memories rest in the past.

Love makes us do weird things and when love leaves us, the memories of it could be empowering enough to get us to do things we have never done.