Use of mosques for activities other than worship and religious discourse is gaining ground. Of late many mosques in the city are doing activities which are not exactly religious in nature. The other day worshippers at the Masjid-e-Qutb Shahi, Darul Irfan, Red Hills were in for a surprise when after the Namaz-e-Ishan they were treated to a lecture on parenting.
Mohammed Khaled Baig Nadvi, an educationist from Karnataka, used the masjid pulpit to share tips about education and proper upbringing of children. Baig, who is the Director of Dar-e-Arqam Public Schools in Tumkur, likened children to uncut diamonds. The way one chisels and polishes them adds to their value. Every child is unique and special with a bagful of talents and skills. It is for the parents to identify their latent skills and devise strategies to nurture them, he said.
Maulana Ubaid-ur-Rehman Athar of Masjide Teenposh and Maulana Asifuddin of Darul Irfan were present on the occasion.
Stating that bringing up a child is a sacred responsibility, Baig lamented that 90 percent of the parents wasted away their kids as they didn’t know the art of parenting. People worked hard on improving their businesses but not on their children. The greatest gift one can give to one’s children is their time, love and attention. Studies suggest that the early life experiences of children have a great impact on their development. The formative years are from birth to 13 years. “The foundation for what you want your child to become in life must be laid in this period only. It is your responsibility to give your kids a chance to reach their full potential”, he told parents.
In Islam parenting starts right from the moment a child is in the mother’s womb. Children are a trust from Allah (swt) and proper upbringing is the best gift one can give them. For this parents need to become role models of virtue and good behaviour. Like sponges, children soak up anything and everything. They tend to imitate their parents more than anyone else. “Hence parents should always behave properly in front of their kids”, Baig said and recounted instances of how spousal fights have an adverse impact on children. In this connection he recited the Quranic dua ‘Rabbi Habli Minas Saliheen’ (O Lord grant me a righteous son).
Every child is a storehouse of talent and it is for parents to unlock their hidden potential. Intelligence levels and abilities differ from child to child. Therefore, they must be given a boost in their special area of interest. But these days most parents have only two career options for their children: doctor or engineer. However, many children can’t live up to their expectations for various reasons. Some children suffer from various mental disorders like depression, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Attention Deficit or Hyperactivity Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. These conditions affect their learning. But parents who are not aware of these things are angry that their children are not studying and beat them up. “Seek expert advice and solve the problem instead of doing rounds of babas and magicians”, said Baig who has studied child psychology.
He recalled how he experimented successfully with slum children and riff-raff in Tumkur town of Karnataka and managed to instil discipline in them through the game of football. Their parents were fed up with them and didn’t know how to make them behave. These children, who had impulsive behaviour, were lured to the football game and the big money involved in it if one becomes a player like Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi. “Once these kids developed interest in football, teaching them good manners and behaviour became easy”, Baig said to drive home the point that children should be allowed to pursue their interest and not forced to fulfil their parents’ dreams. He urged parents to spend quality time with their children and at the same time pay attention to their religious education.
“What is important is not what you leave for your children, but what you leave in your children”, he remarked.
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